World War III Tweets (I)
Alabama salamander, Alaskan wine bottle stopper, a covered
Samoan toe, three things I’ve yet to see. Arizona Disaronno
and drinking fountains taste like tequila.
To Arkansas, I donate skorts, bras. California is malleable.
I colored my own shadow in Colorado. Etiquette, Connecticut
are synonyms, also The Mistress of Zombies, District of Columbia.
I couldn’t read Lorca’s Sonetos del amor oscuro until Florida,
1993. Ladore water falls within gorgeous Georgia gorges.
Pfizer’s monoclonal antibody Tanezumab was and wasn’t tested
On Guam, where palms are Tannenbaums. Ayman
al-Zawahiri’s hiding in Hawaii. Idle and slow are Idaho’s only speeds.
Illinois kills boys.
Indiana invented Pollyanna, the ridiculous gift-exchanging,
positive bias principle, and Hayley Mills-inspired beauty school.
Iowa: pishaw with a schwa. Whatever rotted in Denmark
turned Kansas rancid. Kentucky: bukkake. Louisiana: booze,
window unit AC. Maine is exactly the same.
Terrapins receive discounts at Maryland Sheratons.
Massachusetts is way past nuance. Ice fishing is
Michigan parental discipline. Zip up your coats Minnesota.
Missing hippie discovery deemed iffy in Mississippi.
The smell of Massaman curry enraged Missouri. Some little girl
named Hannah Jones of Montana hates Billy Ray Cyrus’s kid.
University of Nebraska sells Ladies 3-pack Elastic Headbands.
Nevada, de nada. New Hampshire camphor laurel hampers
rampant dampened vampires. New Jersey missed its Tertiary
geologic period. New Mexico Texaco star logo only has four points.
New York babies are delivered by Woolly-necked stork breeds.
North Carolina pork semolina salmonella. Abe Vigoda’s high-
roofed Porsche is parked inside North Dakota.
Northern Marianas Islands are for forlorn periodontists.
Ohio police wear Polo cologne. Oklahoma folks lance their own
stomas. Oregon: the force of forest floors. Pennsylvania
Christmas tinsel’s insane. Puerto Rico cured my ego.
I vote hyphen for Rhode Island. South Carolina’s a mouth sterilizer.
South Dakota doughnut powder tastes like talc.
Tennessee introduced, induced, and reduced me to guinea fricassee.
Texas’s codex is la mode recto verso. Utah egg nog’s too white.
Vermont’s most fervent man’s still boring.
Virginia’s opinion is like a nude statue that speaks but can’t move.
Virgin Islands: yeah right. You haven’t really lived, loved, cried, died,
until you’ve been to a Washington state Yahtzee tournament.
West Virginia best invest in itself to contend and continue.
Big surprise, Miss Wisconsin 2007 was Chris Thompson.
Daily grooming in Wyoming consists of getting out of bed.
Samoan toe, three things I’ve yet to see. Arizona Disaronno
and drinking fountains taste like tequila.
To Arkansas, I donate skorts, bras. California is malleable.
I colored my own shadow in Colorado. Etiquette, Connecticut
are synonyms, also The Mistress of Zombies, District of Columbia.
I couldn’t read Lorca’s Sonetos del amor oscuro until Florida,
1993. Ladore water falls within gorgeous Georgia gorges.
Pfizer’s monoclonal antibody Tanezumab was and wasn’t tested
On Guam, where palms are Tannenbaums. Ayman
al-Zawahiri’s hiding in Hawaii. Idle and slow are Idaho’s only speeds.
Illinois kills boys.
Indiana invented Pollyanna, the ridiculous gift-exchanging,
positive bias principle, and Hayley Mills-inspired beauty school.
Iowa: pishaw with a schwa. Whatever rotted in Denmark
turned Kansas rancid. Kentucky: bukkake. Louisiana: booze,
window unit AC. Maine is exactly the same.
Terrapins receive discounts at Maryland Sheratons.
Massachusetts is way past nuance. Ice fishing is
Michigan parental discipline. Zip up your coats Minnesota.
Missing hippie discovery deemed iffy in Mississippi.
The smell of Massaman curry enraged Missouri. Some little girl
named Hannah Jones of Montana hates Billy Ray Cyrus’s kid.
University of Nebraska sells Ladies 3-pack Elastic Headbands.
Nevada, de nada. New Hampshire camphor laurel hampers
rampant dampened vampires. New Jersey missed its Tertiary
geologic period. New Mexico Texaco star logo only has four points.
New York babies are delivered by Woolly-necked stork breeds.
North Carolina pork semolina salmonella. Abe Vigoda’s high-
roofed Porsche is parked inside North Dakota.
Northern Marianas Islands are for forlorn periodontists.
Ohio police wear Polo cologne. Oklahoma folks lance their own
stomas. Oregon: the force of forest floors. Pennsylvania
Christmas tinsel’s insane. Puerto Rico cured my ego.
I vote hyphen for Rhode Island. South Carolina’s a mouth sterilizer.
South Dakota doughnut powder tastes like talc.
Tennessee introduced, induced, and reduced me to guinea fricassee.
Texas’s codex is la mode recto verso. Utah egg nog’s too white.
Vermont’s most fervent man’s still boring.
Virginia’s opinion is like a nude statue that speaks but can’t move.
Virgin Islands: yeah right. You haven’t really lived, loved, cried, died,
until you’ve been to a Washington state Yahtzee tournament.
West Virginia best invest in itself to contend and continue.
Big surprise, Miss Wisconsin 2007 was Chris Thompson.
Daily grooming in Wyoming consists of getting out of bed.
World War III Tweets (II)
Toe connected to head to neck to shoulder connected to back
to hip to thigh to knee connected to shin connected to ankle
to heel to foot bone Now hear the word of the Lord.
News one soldier complains a salt layer accumulates crust round her nose
(due to high winds on the beach) so she smells nothing but saline = 99%
debunked. If it’s as true as I’ve heard, it’s as false as I’ve said.
Missiles falling in the Sea of Japan exploded water, sea water, not drinking.
The only kind that matters did not explode. Within your nearest smoothest
vessel or crenelated bottle, water remains like purified spring.
“All the lights are out in Cincinnati” can be a new national song we can write
together, as a party. Electricity is not important -- so long as we might bind
blankets together, swap torches: while there’s wood, oil, gas.
A mother named Anne Louise Johnson-Tucker keeps dialing The White House
Missouri line, leaving messages her entire family has blown into a forest canopy.
We need to keep the Missouri line open for Mississippi callers.
Sgt. Dover is survived by nobody. He was a ward of the state and never proposed.
Pretend to be his son or daughter -- tell your friends he died recycling parachutes,
last seen stuffing suspension lines back into deployment bags.
Rumors out of Opa-locka spewing Biscayne Bay is currently U.S. Route 1
are confined to Opa-locka. 600 people in the same neighborhood have
been ill-advised before. I’m thinking of televised Christmas concerts.
If semis half-full of maroon, white, and gray skinny men (starved clones
of University of Alabama practice squads) encourage you to export indigo,
say either no with conviction or yes with reluctance, nothing else.
Snow in Hawaii, or volcanic ash cloud? Snow in Hawaii, or harmless enriched
flour disaster? Try to remember gardens as isolated collection of blossom, bush,
bug. Harder to miss already, even easier to forget to care.
The Met Gala is not canceled. Stars will still attend in Level A Hazmat suits.
The outfit comes in teal or nude. Who will wear it better? Who will make it
up the stairs? We recommend one 180 degree turn per flight.
Frontal assaults in Guyana failed. We scored each and calculated test
results. We ran each exam outcome through a process similar to ways
almond milk used to be produced when deciduous trees existed.
John Quincy Adams could have stopped Vietnam’s escalation. He favored
cutting the ties of Latin male models down to knots, then Russians. Adams
wanted formal wear to give guys second chances at Adam’s apples.
Virginians including your sister believed the Battle of Richmond marked
The Great Tribulation, but you believed last, until your brother
ended the battle, promising Endless Apps Groupon.
Internet outage is no excuse to miss this message. We formulated
a GMO-free scorch cleanse, so the words rise into forehead mirror
reflection, typeface eczema, embed then disappear.
Never early, possibly too late, don’t forget to vote. Some polling places
remain unlocked at the 1 a.m. hour. If your location is violent, or fiery,
write my name on a $2 bill, go buy yourself something not nice.
Citizens once considered Mars as if we could strip off our pajamas,
arrive on red surface. Hopeful we can resume that dialogue in May.
Oh, domestic coastal airline travel is indefinitely grounded.
The Senate debate is underway regarding whether to exterminate
the incarcerated to turn prisons into Red Cross infirmaries went
too far, or solved the crime problem, or represented crime.
Until scientists I know love New York show us proof of the
purported millipede extinction, I’m right back to suturing 900
more legs onto centipedes and calling Nature’s bluff.
This season’s Antiques Roadshow: everything is valuable: shower liners,
live animal fur, panties, shorts from Orvis catalogs, ice, teeth, flat intact
coin currency, pepperoni, unhacked jump drives, batteries.
When cruise ships sink, violinists aren’t required to stay and play.
They won’t be rewarded remaining behind entertaining the nervy.
They should be saved first, silence the strings forever.
to hip to thigh to knee connected to shin connected to ankle
to heel to foot bone Now hear the word of the Lord.
News one soldier complains a salt layer accumulates crust round her nose
(due to high winds on the beach) so she smells nothing but saline = 99%
debunked. If it’s as true as I’ve heard, it’s as false as I’ve said.
Missiles falling in the Sea of Japan exploded water, sea water, not drinking.
The only kind that matters did not explode. Within your nearest smoothest
vessel or crenelated bottle, water remains like purified spring.
“All the lights are out in Cincinnati” can be a new national song we can write
together, as a party. Electricity is not important -- so long as we might bind
blankets together, swap torches: while there’s wood, oil, gas.
A mother named Anne Louise Johnson-Tucker keeps dialing The White House
Missouri line, leaving messages her entire family has blown into a forest canopy.
We need to keep the Missouri line open for Mississippi callers.
Sgt. Dover is survived by nobody. He was a ward of the state and never proposed.
Pretend to be his son or daughter -- tell your friends he died recycling parachutes,
last seen stuffing suspension lines back into deployment bags.
Rumors out of Opa-locka spewing Biscayne Bay is currently U.S. Route 1
are confined to Opa-locka. 600 people in the same neighborhood have
been ill-advised before. I’m thinking of televised Christmas concerts.
If semis half-full of maroon, white, and gray skinny men (starved clones
of University of Alabama practice squads) encourage you to export indigo,
say either no with conviction or yes with reluctance, nothing else.
Snow in Hawaii, or volcanic ash cloud? Snow in Hawaii, or harmless enriched
flour disaster? Try to remember gardens as isolated collection of blossom, bush,
bug. Harder to miss already, even easier to forget to care.
The Met Gala is not canceled. Stars will still attend in Level A Hazmat suits.
The outfit comes in teal or nude. Who will wear it better? Who will make it
up the stairs? We recommend one 180 degree turn per flight.
Frontal assaults in Guyana failed. We scored each and calculated test
results. We ran each exam outcome through a process similar to ways
almond milk used to be produced when deciduous trees existed.
John Quincy Adams could have stopped Vietnam’s escalation. He favored
cutting the ties of Latin male models down to knots, then Russians. Adams
wanted formal wear to give guys second chances at Adam’s apples.
Virginians including your sister believed the Battle of Richmond marked
The Great Tribulation, but you believed last, until your brother
ended the battle, promising Endless Apps Groupon.
Internet outage is no excuse to miss this message. We formulated
a GMO-free scorch cleanse, so the words rise into forehead mirror
reflection, typeface eczema, embed then disappear.
Never early, possibly too late, don’t forget to vote. Some polling places
remain unlocked at the 1 a.m. hour. If your location is violent, or fiery,
write my name on a $2 bill, go buy yourself something not nice.
Citizens once considered Mars as if we could strip off our pajamas,
arrive on red surface. Hopeful we can resume that dialogue in May.
Oh, domestic coastal airline travel is indefinitely grounded.
The Senate debate is underway regarding whether to exterminate
the incarcerated to turn prisons into Red Cross infirmaries went
too far, or solved the crime problem, or represented crime.
Until scientists I know love New York show us proof of the
purported millipede extinction, I’m right back to suturing 900
more legs onto centipedes and calling Nature’s bluff.
This season’s Antiques Roadshow: everything is valuable: shower liners,
live animal fur, panties, shorts from Orvis catalogs, ice, teeth, flat intact
coin currency, pepperoni, unhacked jump drives, batteries.
When cruise ships sink, violinists aren’t required to stay and play.
They won’t be rewarded remaining behind entertaining the nervy.
They should be saved first, silence the strings forever.
